Mary steps down into the cabin of her boat anchored off the Gulf of Mexico. She kicks off her shoes and settles down into her favorite chair as the cell phone rings. The caller is right on time phoning in for her weekly coaching session in much the same way clients used to come to Marys office for a private therapy session. The two exchange greetings, lift a prayer for the Lords blessing on their time, and pick up immediately on an assignment Mary had e-mailed after last weeks call.John is sipping the last of his morning coffee as he watches nature come alive around his motor home. Traveling and seeing North America had been a dream he thought would have to wait until retirement. Locked into a full schedule in his Christian counseling practice, it had been hard to get more than a week away at any one time. Now, his phone rings and he begins a coaching session with a client who lives halfway across the continent. After three more calls, hell pop into the nearest town for

some lunch and do a little sightseeing. Later this evening hell teach two teleclasses on a bridge line with 20 to 30 students in each class.

 

If these scenarios sound farfetched, consider that I am writing this article from my office in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains where the nearest town has a population of 215. I could never have a counseling

 

practice herethere simply isn’t enough clientele from which to draw. But technology and the growing field of Life Coaching have made it possible to close down my Christian counseling practice in Tampa Bay and fulfill a dream to work at home and raise our children in the country on the old family farm. All my work is done via telephone, the Internet and the FAX machine. I rarely, if ever, meet my clients face-to-face.

 

 

 

*What is Coaching?*

 

In my years of practice as a Christian counselor, I often found people seeking help who didnt really need to see a therapist. They were not in a state of crisis and could probably have gone on indefinitely as they were, but they didnt want to. They had a distinct feeling that something was missing. They wanted help from someone who was objective, confidential, and skilled in active listening; someone who would care about them and give honest feedback. They wanted a guide or mentor to help them find greater peace and joy in their Christian life. These

 

people were looking for a Life Coach. Athletes, musicians, and actors have always used coaches to improve their skills, overcome obstacles,

 

remain focused, and attain the level of performance their professions demand. Corporate executives and entrepreneurs hire business coaches to help them excel in their industries, take a company public, or start a new business. People even hire nutritional coaches or fitness coaches to help them work a successful weight loss program or tone up their bodies. Increasingly people are hiring Life Coaches to help them create and truly live out the lives they desire for themselves and their families.

 

It could be said that no one truly needs a Life Coach. People seek out a coach because they want more for their lives. One of my clients states his goal as: To learn to love my wife in a more dynamic manner. I desire to have the kind of vibrant and passionate marriage I see some

 

other couples have.Some of my clients are starting home businesses, switching to living on one income, or making other moves to allow them more time as a family. I work with a number of couples on effective parenting skills. Some are in life transitions or working on organizational and time management skills. I coach several Christian

 

counselors who are breaking free from managed care, starting their own practices, even adding coaching to their practices. Whatever their life issues, all my clients share this in common: They deeply desire richer, more fulfilling, more God-honoring lives.

 

 

 

*Different from Psychotherapy*

 

When an individual hires a coach, the relationship that develops will be quite different from a therapeutic one. In fact, it is critical that coaches draw a clear distinction between the service they are providing and psychotherapy. The coach becomes a collaborative partner rather than a hired expert. There is no quality of doctor to patientin their

 

interactions. Instead, the two are embarking on a journey together to understand more fully the Lords purpose for that persons life and to see that fulfilled. The coach will seek to help the person draw out and hone his or her unique gifts, talents, and calling in pursuit of the abundant life Christ purchased for us. Psychotherapy can generally be said to be about the past and present. The purpose of the work is to address past traumas, painful relationships, unconscious motivations,

 

faulty beliefs, psychiatric illness, and to help a person move from a place of crisis to a more acceptable level of daily functioning. Simply put, therapy is about healing. A client in need of healing is not yet ready for coaching and should be referred to a therapist. Recalling

 

Maslows hierarchy of needs, there are more basic issues to be addressed before the person can effectively pursue greater fulfillment. Coaching, on the other hand, is about the present and especially about the future. Starting from a place of stable functioning, the coach will help clients clarify and attain the vision they have for their lives. Coaching is about envisioning, creating, and growing. Coaching is also different from discipleship in that it is less instructional and more relational. The coach does relatively little teaching and much more questioning and

 

challenging, helping the client take greater ownership of his or her unique giftings and life calling.

 

 

 

*The Possibilities of Technology*

 

Coaching can be practiced in a number of different ways, depending on the preferences of the coach and client. Without a fragile client and concerns about risk to self or others, transference or countertransference and the like, there are not the strict boundary issues critical to ethical practice in psychotherapy. Some coaches do all of their work face-to-face, but their sessions might be held over a

 

meal at a restaurant, at their clients place of work, or even

 

over a game of golf. Most coaches do the majority of their work over the

 

telephone (TeleCoaching), supplementing with e-mail and FAXes. Still others do CyberCoaching, working primarily over the Internet. One of my clients is a missionary overseas, and all of our work is done in this manner. TeleClasses can be taught over bridge lines on which 100 or more students can be present at the same time from all over the world. And many coaches stay in touch with their clientele and prospect new ones through e-mail newsletters and Ezines.

 

 

 

The advantages of TeleCoaching and CyberCoaching are immediately apparent. For the client, a busy work schedule doesnt have to be interrupted for three hours to drive to an office across town, wait in a lobby, be seen for a 50-minute hour and drive back to work. The coach

 

is as near as a phone call or e-mail, and the disruption to the work schedule is minimal. For the coach, geography no longer limits the potential market. Clients can literally be anywhere in the world, and the coach is free to travel or live wherever he or she desires, so long as there is telephone and computer access.

 

 

 

*A Growing Field*

 

Coaching is still establishing and defining itself in the professional world. A few articles began appearing in the early 1990s by people doing Executive Coaching or Corporate Coaching. Thomas Leonard, considered by many to be the Father of Coaching, founded a virtual training program called Coach University in 1992. Other training programs have followed and, in 1996, the International Coaching Federation (ICF) held their first conference in Houston. The ICF has recently developed a Code of Ethics for the profession and a national credentialing program. Coaches come from a full range of professional backgrounds, with the majority only coaching part-time while maintaining their regular jobs. Most coaches are specializing in niche markets such as Corporate Coaching, Career Coaching, Parent Coaching, Relationship Coaching, or Cross-cultural Coaching, to name a few. The Christian Coaches Network (CCN) was established in 1998 to provide networking and referral services for those practicing distinctly as Christian Coaches. Many therapists are adding coaching to their repertoire of services in the same way many offer mediation work and consulting. One virtual coach training program, Therapist University, offers an accelerated program exclusively for licensed therapists because their skills are so

 

immediately transferable to the profession.

 

 

 

*Looking Toward the Future*

 

As technology continues to open up new possibilities for Christian counseling around the world, coaching will become increasingly important as a service we can offer. In his plenary address at AACCs 1999 Conference on the Soul of Christian Counseling, Gary Collins emphasized

 

our need to clarify the various services a Christian counselor can offer, especially distinguishing between therapy, discipleship, and coaching. Each utilizes a similar set of skills, but each is uniquely different and each is suited to different life issues. Web counselor plays a vital role for the welfare of society.

Whether coaching full-time or simply as an adjunct to an existing practice, we can powerfully impact the lives of people we may never meet this side of eternity and improve the witness of their lives as we help them more fully embrace Christ’s abundant life. We can also have a measure of freedom and flexibility not previously possible I really do know of a woman who coaches from her boat, and Thomas Leonard really does coach from his motor home! Online counselor is always available to help you out.

 

                               OVERCOMING DISCOURAGEMENT

 

     Having faced discouragement and suicidal tendencies myself this article is not some pie-in-the-sky theory, but it is information that has helped others overcome discouragement.  Depression and oppression are all to real for those facing such problems, and though knowledge and recognition of what needs to change is the initial step, it will in itself never be enough.  Real wisdom through application needs to occur not just mental assent.  Hopefully, what follows will provide the keys to such application and any lingering lethargy can be faced and a step by step endeavor to overcome the problem can take place.  A word of caution: If the problem being faced is extremely serious, it would probably be best to see a doctor.

What are you telling yourself?

All of us speak words to ourselves that either encourage us with impetus to move upward and onward, or to denigrate ourselves and tear us down.  When you look in the mirror every morning, what do you say to yourself?  Is it in essence “I am blessed” or is it “I am cursed”?  Interestingly enough, your self-talk is partly a product of your environment and partly your own assessment of yourself.  Sometimes it is positive and other times it is negative.  Recognizing and identifying what many have called the self-talk in your life is an initial first step to turning around discouragement.  Tell yourself there is hope no matter what negative circumstances you face and begin the process to a turnaround.  Pinpointing destructive self-criticism and cutting it off is a crucial first step in this process.  Becoming upbeat and positive begins to transform the darkened thinking patterns you have wallowed in and creates new channels of thought.  Stagnancy transforms into productive growth.

Rely on God.

Almost no one can make the necessary changes relying on your own strength.  Most Alcohol Anonymous members acknowledge that you must call on a Higher Power.  This power, though, needs to be specified to work deeply in your life.  You connect to this Higher Power, or God, through faith in Jesus’ death for your sins and faith in his resurrection power.  It is only in welcoming the Holy Spirit or what the New Testament Greek identifies as dunamis power that you can begin to strengthen your inner being to help fight off those negative attitudes. 

 

Craig Dressler, the author, has written a book entitled Never Fail: Strategies For Success In Tough Situations which greatly expands on this topic.  It will shortly be available from American Book Company as well as from Publisher Direct. 

 

 

“The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.” Mack R. Douglas

Imagine a wedding planner 75% committed to planning your wedding, an author 65% committed to writing a great read, or a plumber only 90% committed to repairing your leak? Yikes! As a business and life coach I have noticed over the years that the clients who are most successful in creating the changes they want are the ones who commit 100%, and those who struggle have an aversion to or fear of commitment. Most often he/she reasons, “I like my freedom”. Yet they have less freedom and happiness than those who commit. Commitment is a hot button for many, yet is the key to their dreams. It is not to be feared but embraced. When creating a high quality life, career, or business 100% is the only way to go. Here are five steps to make it easier to say ‘yes’ to what you want in a way that gets results.Step 1- Be authentic- Being authentic reduces the need for self-discipline. When you make a commitment based on your values, passions, skills, and strengths work becomes play. You get into a place of flow. You are energized versus drained because you are doing what you love, doing what is important to you, and doing it in a way that comes naturally to you. Ask yourself, ‘what are my values, passions, skills, and strengths.’ Ask others the same question. Then ask, ‘how can I best leverage them?’ Then choose a goal you are willing to commit to 100%. Step 2- Focus on the joy your pot of gold brings- What end result are you committing to? If you want to lose weight stop focusing on what you are giving up and focus on the end result you want. Experience how great you will feel to slip into your jeans, how good you will feel when you see photographs of yourself, and how confident you will feel in a bathing suit, etc. Hold your intention first thing in the morning, at bedtime, and when throughout the day. Allow no room for a pity party. Be pulled into action by the end results.Step 3- Drop the excuses- Once you make a commitment drop all excuses. Ken Blanchard says, “There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” There is no choice to procrastinate. Commitment requires action! What will your life, career, or business look like if you let go of the excuses and take daily action?Step 4- Add a support structure- This is where clients resist. We love freedom. We have to get that structure holds our focus on what we have to do. It saves time, money, and provides more freedom long term. Create a plan to change habits and set daily disciplines that lead to your goal. Tony Robbins offers good advice, “Stay committed to your decisions; but stay flexible in your approach.” Clear your plate. Make room to take action. Put a structure in place to keep you on track such as a daily checklist or pick up a Rewarding Daily Habits Chart at the author’s website. Make shifts as needed along the way. Set up rewards to keep it fun. Add accountability by recruiting a buddy who wants to make a commitment then support each other weekly or hire your own personal coach.Step 5- Give 100% instead of anything less- This means a daily commitment to excellence and focused action. Give all you have to give. Hit the pillow each night with a sense of fulfillment. Awake and follow thru with enthusiasm! Too often we go to bed feeling something is lacking when in fact nothing is lacking! We just are not taking the actions that bring fulfillment. Raise your standards to your very best daily by doing what will make you feel good about you. Does this mean working until you drop? NO! Rejuvenation is part of peak performance. Take time for extreme self care so you can be your very best. Work hard, play hard, pray hard.

Malcolm S. Forbes said, “One worthwhile task carried to a successful conclusion is worth half-a-hundred half-finished tasks.” Begin to practice committing fully by starting with one goal you know you can reach and building a pattern of success. Keeping commitments to yourself will build your confidence that you can follow thru, you can make things happen, you can be unlimited, and you can create a high quality life…. starting now!

Copyright 2007, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.

Anxiety is a psychological as well as a physical state and is characterized by various behavioral components. The components combine to create an unpleasant feeling, leaving you feeling uneasy, scared or worried. Anxiety is generally regarded as a mood condition and can be triggered by a number of stimuli.  Stress is an everyday cause of anxiety and it is normal to feel a little anxious when being under pressure. However, when anxiety becomes excessive, it may be classified as an anxiety disorder.Symptoms and effects of anxiety may include fatigue, nausea, chest pain, stomach aches, headaches or a combination of the above.Anxiety has the ability to waste your time and energy and weakens you mentally and physically in the process. It is possible to overcome anxiety by making a couple of small changes to your lifestyle or to act on a situation instead of just reacting…Talk so someone that you can trust. Bottling up your anxieties and fears will only aggravate it on the long run. Talking about it is a good way to get some perspective on the way you’re feeling.Think happy thoughts! Anxiety goes hand in hand with negative thoughts. Therefore, the more negative you are, the more anxious you will be. Take control over your thoughts!You also need to also take control over your feelings. Feelings and emotions can definitely strengthen anxiety. Do not allow yourself to become emotionally or mentally detached. Make sure the last thoughts you have when going to bed and the first thoughts when waking up are positive thoughts. There are always good things in your life, even if you think it’s small or not important. Even if it’s the warm bed that you sleep in or the sound of rain outside your window – cherish those thoughts!Keep busy, do something you like! By keeping busy you can keep your mind of your anxiety. Sitting around thinking about your problems and worries won’t make them go away. Clean the house, work in your garden, do something constructive – you’d be amazed at how revitalized you’ll feel!Exercise, exercise, exercise! Go for a long jog, do some yoga or simply take a stroll in the park. This is a good way to prevent your fears from overwhelming you.Find reasons to laugh! Laugher brings happiness into your life. Watch comedies, spend some time with amusing friends or read a funny book.Do not give in to your feelings of anxiety. You are in control of your own happiness, so fight the unpleasant feelings with some of the suggestions mentioned above.If you feel you cannot overcome your anxiety on your own, do not hesitate to seek expert advice.

Whether the book you choose to read is one that will have you looking into the future world of Big Brother, going back to the days or prehistoric monsters, or the kind which will make you drift off with the sounds of small silver waves lapping on a white sandy beach, reading the book is sure to be a great help in reducing your stress levels.
Along with reducing the stress in your life, reading a good book can open all sorts of doors leading to visions and aspirations of things you would never have dreamed possible before. It can also be a great aide when you have problems which you need to solve.
Reading is an excellent escape and provides a good way to relax. Curl up with a good book and all your worries and cares go out of the window, at least for a short while, as you are taken off to far away places, maybe in a different time period, bringing new ideas and thoughts to your mind. It’s almost like awarding your mind with a vacation but without incurring the huge costs, especially if you take advantage of your local library.
A great deal of knowledge to help you with problem solving can be gleaned from reading, and this in turn will help to reduce the stress in your life. Lets say, for example you have put on a bit of weight and you are stressed out about this. The more you put on, the more stressed you become, so what do you do? Yes, eat more! No! That’s not the way to do it! You could read a book about nutrition. This will not only show you how to plan your meals, making sure they are low in calories and fat, but if you adhere to what the book teaches you, you will also lose weight, and consequently the stress factor will disappear too.
Reading also gives hope and inspiration in a way which will relieve stress. Stories of rags to riches and biographies of famous people, which detail how they got to where they are today can only encourage you to overcome your struggles and take on the challenges you are faced with.
Books on self help are an effective stress reliever too. They encourage you to explore and discover how you feel about yourself and suggest learning how to play or just listening to music or performing deep breathing exercises can help you to cope with stressful situations.
There are, of course, times where reading can actually boost your levels of stress. You may be studying for a test or examination and panicking about whether or not you are going to reach the pass mark, or maybe you are reading about a tragic event involving someone or something close to your heart. This is why you should choose carefully the material you intend reading to reduce your stress levels. An interesting novel is possibly the best medicine you can take and there are no risks of side effects either. A good book, whatever the subject matter, can transport you away from your frustrations and anxieties, allowing a free rein on your imagination, and exercising your mind which in turn will leave you refreshed and ready to take on the world.
Once you become a book reader you will understand the affects reading has on reducing stress. Pick up a book of poetry, a travel guide or a cookery book. You never know, you may decide to put the words of the cookbook into practice and have a go at a new recipe in the book. Just remember to make it low in fat and calories if you do!

If you are dealing with acne, you may be wondering what is actually causing your acne to occur. You may have heard that stress can cause acne. However, you may be wondering if this is really true. If it is true, what can you do about it? Here’s a closer look at stress and it’s relation to acne, and how you can combat stress and acne for clean skin.

Stress and Inflammation – We already know that stress is just normal in our lives. However, having too much stress in your life can be unhealthy. In fact, there are many health problems that can occur when you have too much stress. In studies that have been conducted, researches have found that stress can raise the production of cytokines, which cause inflammation to occur. An increase in the body’s inflammatory response can lead to a higher risk of conditions that are related to inflammation.

Inflammation and Acne – So, now that you understand how stress can lead to inflammation, you may be wondering what inflammation has to do with acne. Well, your skin is an organ, and inflammation in the body can affect the skin. Acne is actually a type of inflammation that occurs to your skin. When sebum gets trapped on pores, the body reacts to this problem by sending in the immune system cells, which is the inflammatory response. Reducing the inflammation within your body can actually help to treat acne, and one way to do this is to actually reduce the amount of stress in the body, since stress truly can cause an inflammatory response in the body.

Reducing Inflammation to Treat Acne – What can you do to reduce the inflammation in the body in order to treat your acne problem? Well, antioxidants can definitely be helpful. They are naturally anti inflammatory and naturally work to get rid of inflammation in the body. Some of these antioxidants include Vitamin C, E, and A. However, one of the best natural anti inflammatory options out there is fish oil. It is stronger than other antioxidants and can drastically reduce inflammation in the body. So, if you want to reduce inflammation, fish oil is one of the best ways to do so.

In order to treat your acne problem and overcome inflammation that can occur due to stress, adding fish oil to your diet is a great idea. While you can increase the oily fish that you eat to help add more fish oil, usually it is best to go with fish oil supplements so that you get the amount that your body needs to adequately eliminate inflammation and reduce acne.

The morning alarm goes off and you drag yourself out of bed; “drag” because you stayed up too late the night before. You got so engrossed in exhaustively researching a prospective purchase online that you just couldn’t stop until you were done.

After you take your ADHD medication, you begin to feel more alert. Suddenly ideas start to ricochet across your brain, faster than you can keep track of them. You feel energized and capable and on top of the world and write run-on sentences like this one and have all these great plans to accomplish so much with the rest of your day!

You have several big projects that need doing (not to mention a variety of smaller tasks), so you sit down to get to work. Almost immediately you’re sidetracked because something else you have to do pops into your head.

If I don’t do it now, you think, I’ll forget about it; I’d better do it now. So you jump up, intending to do the thing that popped into your head; except that, on the way to do it, you see something else that needs doing. After you do that instead, you can’t remember what you got up for in the first place.

Soon it’s evening and it hits you that, if you’re going to get the project done that’s due tomorrow, you’ll have to pull an all-nighter tonight. Thanks to caffeine, sugary snacks and the “motivation” of impending failure, you finally manage to focus. The night flies by and the project gets done (and done well, since we ADD-ers tend to be perfectionists).

Then you grab a couple of hours of unrestful sleep and drag yourself out of bed yet again, even more tired than you were the previous morning.

Why does this always happen? you wonder. Do I have to feel so stressed all the time? I thought this medication was supposed to be helping me. Why can’t I channel my energies and harness my thoughts so I can get more done?

Taking Action to Help Ourselves

While medication definitely improves the symptoms of ADHD for most people, what we need to do to improve our lives is to implement structure and organization in a way that works with us and for us – not against us.

Before we knew we had ADHD, we felt guilty and blamed ourselves for what we suspected were weaknesses in our characters. We were lazy, or unmotivated, or irresponsible; or we felt “broken” or “weird” because we couldn’t do things that came easily to others.

Now that we know better, it’s our responsibility to learn how to get the help we need. Remember that knowledge is power.

Consider a Coach

As if in answer to the ADHD person’s prayers, some sympathetic genius came up with the idea of the ADHD coach. David Giwerc, co-founder with his wife, Marla and president of the ADD Coach Academy (ADDCA) – and an ADD-er himself – denies that the concept originated with him.

“I have been coaching longer than most, but I can’t say that I was the first ADD coach,” Giwerc says. “I can say that I was the first ADD coach to specialize in coaching entrepreneurs and business owners with ADHD. I can also say that ADDCA trains more skilled, educated ADD coaches than any other coach training program.”

Giwerc also serves as the current president of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), which describes itself as “the world’s leading adult ADHD organization.”

What ADHD Coaches Do

“(ADHD coaches) tell our clients that they’re not broken; their brains are just wired differently,” Giwerc says. Besides educating clients about their ADHD, coaches support and empower them by helping them to:

#1 – Let go of and change beliefs that are obstacles in their lives: things like, “If I can’t do it the way ‘they’ want me to do it, I’m no good” (rather than “I have a different style that works for me”) and “If I don’t get the result I want, it’s a failure” (rather than “it’s a learning experience”).

#2 – Identify their passions, talents and successes – i.e., the things they love to do and do well – and focus on them rather than exclusively on their weaknesses

#3 – Understand how ADHD characteristics, such as creative thinking and hyperfocus, can be utilized as strengths when integrated into their daily schedules

#4 – Develop their unique skills

#5 – Create customized structures and strategies that utilize their natural learning and processing styles so that they can function more effectively and achieve their goals

#6 – Learn what do to when they get “stuck” because of ADHD-related challenges such as procrastination, perfectionism, distraction and lack of time awareness

While coaching is no substitute for medication, Giwerc says that it can be part of a comprehensive approach to managing ADHD that also includes 1) accurate diagnosis; 2) identification of the most effective drug and dosage for the individual; 3) psychotherapy, if needed; and 4) physical exercise.

Where Do I Find a Coach and What Should I Look For?

Many websites advertise ADHD coaches. At the ADDCA site, for example, you can find the names of suitable coaches by clicking on the “Find a Coach” tab and then choosing the specialty you want (for example, “Adult” or “Children and Adolescents”) and/or the location you prefer. Coaches usually offer a free introductory session so that you can both determine “if there’s a connection,” Giwerc explains.

Although the International Coaching Federation (ICF) certifies coaches in general coaching skills, there’s currently no ICF certification specifically for ADHD coaching. Coaches should be graduates of ADHD coach training programs, however, such as ADDCA’s 12-month long-distance program that leads to the ACG (ADD Coach Academy Graduate) designation. Graduates of ADDCA may then pursue advanced training to earn certification as a CAC (Certified ADDCA Coach).

For helpful guidance about selecting an ADHD coach, see “The ADDA Guiding Principles for Coaching Individuals with Attention Deficit Disorder” at the ADDA’s website.

The Nuts and Bolts: How Does Coaching Actually Work?

Although you can meet with a local ADHD coach in person, most ADHD coaching takes place via telephone or e-mail. Three or four 30-to-60-minute phone sessions are usually scheduled each month, with e-mail or brief phone contacts in between. Fees may run between $200-$600 a month and are probably not covered by insurance (but you should check with your own health plan to be sure).

Coaching relationships don’t have a set timeframe. They can run from six months to two years or more, depending upon the individual client’s desires and progress.

As important as a coach’s credentials are, even more crucial to a successful coaching experience is the ADHD client’s willingness to do what he or she can to create a more fulfilling life. Coaches can inspire this willingness. “We teach our clients to shift perspective, to discover and embrace their strengths instead of their challenges,” Giwerc says.

In fact, adds Giwerc, “With the help of a well-trained coach, a client learns how to take his or her natural ADHD tendencies and convert them into strengths.”

Anything taken too much is bad for the health, and the long term effects of stress are well documented, which is why it is such an important area. As with everything in life prevention is always better than cure so I have provided 6 steps to help you avoid becoming stressful.A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.I recommend you see a stress counselor if you think you may be suffering from stress but there are a few preventative things you can do for yourself:Write it out, schedule it out.Overwhelm is a result of having too much in your head to deal with so write it down, get it out of your head and down on paper.You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.One at a time works.Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time. It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present. Just focus in on your one task, whether that task is spending time with the kids, or writing the next chapter of your book. Block time in your schedule for your most important tasks to ensure you experience balance.Relax and take it slow.At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.Also spend time relaxing in between your work, just 2 minutes with your eyes closed standing out in the fresh air is enough to bring back mental alertness and to help you feel calmer. I recommend 10 minutes away from your desk every few hours. Taking this time for yourself will mean that you come back stronger and more focused. The longer you spend working without a break the more your effectiveness diminishes.Delegate, delegate, delegate.You really don’t have to do everything all at once and you definitely don’t have to do everything on your own. Get into the habit of asking for help, or paying for help. When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once. Remember that delegating does not mean leaving someone to get on with it and forgetting about it, because if that person makes an error you end up feeling even more stressful. Make sure you check up on progress and let them know that they should ask you if they are unsure about anything.Give yourself a reward.You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task. Also, it is really easy to spend your time in the future, thinking about how wonderful life will be when you finally complete your task or goal. However, usually when we get there, there are no celebrations because we are on to the next “thing to do.” By giving yourself a reward (something that doesn’t cost anything is the best reward!) you acknowledge where you are at, that you have completed another step. And when you get to your final destination success tastes sweet!Give yourself a break.You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.I recommend everyone take a full hour away from their desk, many people find this difficult to do but it is really essential if you want to avoid stress. Invite a work colleague to go with you or spend the time in quiet contemplation. If you need to set outlook to signal when you need to take an hour, or set your cell phone alarm to go off, then no matter what you are doing stop, get up, and walk away. I promise you that you will return with more energy and creativity than you left with!I hope you enjoyed reading these six steps and that you will choose to take one and use today, taking action is the prime step towards stress avoidance, or if you are already feeling the effects of stress.While a little of everything is good for us, too much of anything isn’t and it is always better to learn how to relax and avoid stress than it is to have to learn how to deal with overcoming it. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.

Whether we like it or not, human beings cannot escape the fact that we are part of nature and that we are subject to its laws. When scientific research confirms this there is much surprise and sometime the next step is to search for a drug to overcome it.So it was that new research has discovered a link between stress and pregnancy.The women who took longer to get pregnant after stopping the contraceptive pill were found to have higher levels of a biomarker correlated with stress.Lets get back to basics. Firstly despite sex having other roles in human society, its basic is reproduction. In turn, reproduction is about survival of the species and is a very deep-seated need of humans and indeed all animals. Secondly, the body responds to stress in the same way regardless of the cause. Historically (and this still applies in some parts of the world) the main causes of stress in humans were lack of food, lack of shelter and threats from predators.Not surprisingly in those circumstances adding more mouths to feed is low on the list of priorities. The body responds to stress in a number of ways and this is largely brought about through release of the “stress” hormones, adrenaline and cortisol.In response to these the heart pumps faster, blood pressure goes up, blood is diverted to the muscles and the body aims to conserve its fat supplies. This is very helpful when taking enemies or if food is scarce. Equally it will make the body less fertile as release of sex hormones may be reduced and the body is directing its energies in other directions.Today stress for many in the western world comes in the form of financial worries or concerns about work or family. The body reacts to stress in exactly the same way regardless of the cause of stress. It is therefore no surprise that women who are more highly stressed are going to find it takes longer to get pregnant. Indeed one of the stressors can be the “need” to get pregnant.It is uncanny how often I have seen couples present being concerned that they have been trying for a pregnancy and not succeeding, who, after some simple tests to confirm that they are “fertile” have a pregnancy before any intervention (assisted fertility treatments) can be started. With the stress of trying to get pregnant removed, the body sorts itself out.This is not to say that this happens in all couples or that there will never be a need for assistance. It is to say that when we look at things in the context of nature we find they make a lot more sense.I would also add that many men worry about their sex drive dropping at times. On questioning there are always major stress factors involved. In the same way that the stressed female body is less likely to get pregnant, the stressed male body is less in the mood for sex too.As we saw above, the body reacts to stress regardless of whether it is a predator or a mortgage. In this context the male body also has hormonal changes and, surprise, surprise, reproduction (more mouths to feed) is not a priority.Once again when we look at things logically and understand the responses of the body, those responses make sense whether we like them or not (and whether science has caught up or not).There are solutions .Use stress management methods like meditation exercise, get adequate sleep and water and follow a good diet (cut processed sugary foods and eat more “real food). The ultimate solution, as always, will be to deal with the actual underlying issues, whatever they may be.