Having trouble reaching all your goals? Are you going for
what you want, but feeling like something is road-blocking
the way? Are you finding yourself “not” doing some of the
things you know you should be doing?
You may running a pattern of self-sabotage. How do you
know, and what can you do about it?
1. Focusing on what is not working, not right or missing
from your life.
Problem: Notice how often you speak about and think about
what is not working, not right, or missing from your life.
This only attracts more of the things you don’t want.
Action: Ask yourself a new question: “What’s going right?”
or “What IS working?” Begin to notice all the things, no
matter how small, that are working well. Keep an evidence
journal and each day write down everything, I do mean
everything, that is working and you will attract more of
what is working!
2. Being stuck in fear:
Problem: Do you worry a lot about the future and what is
going to happen or might happen? Are you thinking about your
fears so much that you are paralysed and take no action
because of fear of what might occur?
Action: It is time to put your focus on the present. We
can’t control or predict the future or other people’s
behaviors. All we can control is our own, right here, right
Ask yourself the question “What is the worst thing that
could happen?” Then, let go and know that rarely do the
scenarios we create in our heads occur. Take a moment to put
things into perspective by writing down the things you can
not change, the things you want to change, and accept that
the Universe, God, Spirit, whatever you call it will take of
the rest. It always does!
3. Feeling you have no value.
Problem: Do you forget all your accomplishments and lack
pride in who you are and what you have accomplished? If you
obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of
achievement, then you’ll be stuck in noticing how much you
lack as a person. If you often criticize yourself or can’t
accept compliments, it’s a definite sign that you have
fallen into this trap.
Action: You can choose to notice what you do that is good
and the things you can be proud of, no matter how small they
may seem. Each day keep a log of what you are grateful for
about YOU. When you hear your mind chattering about what you
haven’t done right or well, turn down the volume and turn up
the volume to hear the voice that knows the TRUTH about who
you are and how you add value to the world.
Acknowledge yourself for at least 5 things each and every
day that you did well. Each day, compliment yourself on
something you did that you feel good about. Notice your
small successes and accept the compliments others give you.
4. Comparing yourself to others.
Problem: Do you constantly compare yourself to others and
then feel badly when compared to them? Comparison doesn’t
motivate us to do more or be better, instead it makes us
feel we’ll never be good enough and we aren’t right now.
Action: Write out the 5 qualities you like best about
yourself. Then write out what you value most in your life.
When you go to a place of comparison, notice how similar you
are with the other person vs. what is different. Begin to
create a list of adjectives that describe you – at least 25
positive words about your greatness. Whenever you notice
yourself in a comparison mode, think of some of the
adjectives that describe YOU.
5. Self-Sabotage – getting what you want and then losing it.
Problem: Do you not believe that you deserve to have what
you want? When you get what you want, why do you often lose
it or mess it up? What is the true story underneath – maybe
that you think aren’t good enough to have it?
Action: List all the things you have accomplished that faded
away. Simply notice these things, but don’t place any
judgment on the fact they disappeared. How did they bring
you satisfaction? How did they make you feel? What is the
limiting belief that you have that tells you inside why you
can’t have what you want? Be quiet, be still and listen to
Write down how you felt when you had what you wanted. Write
down how you feel now, without it. Then write a “bridge
belief”: A very, very small belief that feels a little bit
better than what you now feel. Each week, create a new
bridge belief, not matter how small, that you can really
believe. By using these bridges as stepping-stones, you’ll
shift your limiting beliefs slowly and be on the other side
of the bridge and able to maintain it because you will have
a new belief inside of you.
6. You chase away relationships.
Problem: Do you always feel something is missing in your
relationships or find fault with the other person? Perhaps
you are afraid of intimacy. Underneath this is usually a
fear of abandonment or exposure that causes you to distance
yourself from others.
Action: Create a list of the qualities you value in a
relationship and the qualities you want to attract in your
partners. Express what you want and don’t want to the other
person and allow them to express the same to you. Create
time to acknowledge the other person on a regular basis.
Notice when you feel afraid. Don’t try to push the feelings
away. Know that the feelings are there and that is fine.
Then, in that moment, focus on what feels good about the
7. Having no purpose.
Problem: Do you feel you have no purpose in life? We all
have some purpose for being on the planet and it is time to
Action: Write down all the things that are important to you
– the thing you want to create in your life. Then write out
what you want to contribute to the world. From your writing,
create a statement of purpose for yourself that you can read
each and every day.
Then stop worrying about not knowing your purpose and start
creating what you desire now. It doesn’t matter what you
want in the future. So start creating something you want in
your life NOW. This action will ultimately put you in
alignment and bring you closer to your overall purpose.