Fear holds us back. Fear keeps us from where we want to be. Fear prevents us living. We all need to conquer fear to really start living the life we want to live; the life we deserve. And it’s not as hard as you might think. Life coaching has the techniques to get us heading in the right direction and to help us start living.
First we need to understand what the fear is that is holding us back. Some fear is tangible in that we perceive it and understand the implications of what could happen to us. For instance, if we’re in a dangerous situation that might cause us harm (like a house fire) we’ll be in fear. Or, if someone is physically bigger than us and they want to hurt us, we’ll be fearful of them. However, the other type of fear can’t be perceived in the same way and this is the one that is holding us back.
This type of fear can’t easily be explained but too much of it can be harmful and prevent us from achieving our true desires and goals. It may be seen as friends or family getting in our way, the fear of success or leaving our ‘comfort zone’. Whatever is blocking us getting what we want needs to be moved for us to make progress toward a better life. By admitting we have a fear, understanding how it makes us suffer and then concentrating on how to overcome it, we can start to conquer it. Remove yourself from that ‘comfort zone’ and start making a change.
A little at a time
Jumping in at the deep end isn’t the best way to start making a change. Identify what your fear is and then take small steps toward overcoming it. If you are afraid of social situations and unable to talk to people, try overcoming this by using online forums to chat with strangers. You’ll find it less intimidating and you’ll begin to develop social skills you can employ when speaking with someone face-to-face. Write down what your fear is and make a plan to use small steps in overcoming it.
Motivation
Instead of thinking of your fear in a negative way, start to think about how great things will be when you overcome it. Write these down and refer to them whenever you feel like giving up. Keeping motivated is an important part of beating your fear and if you let your previous negativity to creep in, you’re less likely to keep things heading in the right direction.
Rejection is not failure
Too often, people see being rejected as an opportunity to say “I told you so” and therefore give up with achieving their goals. If you want to beat your fears you need to see rejection as part of the process and learn from it. Remember, you’re acquiring new skills as you look for ways to a better life and rejection is just feedback on how your skills are developing. Success will come from rejection so stop thinking of it as your enemy; it’s trying to help you!
Live for the moment
It’s too easy when making plans for the future to forget about living in the present. When trying to change our lives, we can dwell too much on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘buts’ and this can set us back by bringing back into play the fear that we had in the first place. Enjoy the here and now and embrace what you’re doing today. Tomorrow will soon come and before you know it you’ll have achieved what you set out to do.
The new ‘you’
As you seek to make positive changes to your life, so you’ll start to be a more positive person. Friends, family and work colleagues will begin to notice the difference and you’ll pick up on their reaction. See this as a good sign of your progress and a reinforcement that your fear is being left behind. The old negative you is ebbing away and the new positive you is blossoming. The situations and issues you were once shy and fearful of will become easier and before you know it you’ll have the confidence to meet them head on; and win!