The Causes of Fear – Overcoming Fear – Part 3

The prime and basic cause of all fear is our ignorance of our true nature. If we experienced or were convinced of our invulnerable eternal soul-nature, we would never feel any fear whatsoever. Because we do not, or cannot, believe this truth, we feel vulnerable, separate, isolated and susceptible to extinction or insignificance.

Because of this, we identify with the body and the complex of personality traits, which we call “I”. All fears, no matter how specific they may appear to be, can be traced back to the basic fear of rejection of pain to or extinction of the “I”, and the loss of any of its security attachments.

Some subordinate factors also contribute to fear:

1. A feeling of separateness increases our fear. When we feel close to people and nature we cannot easily fear them. Fear results from a feeling of alienation, which manifests a general feeling of suspicion of all and everything.

2. Unfamiliarity with people and things also causes suspicion and fear. When we come in contact with someone who dresses or behaves differently from what we are accustomed, our security base is undermined and we often react with caution and perhaps defensive or offensive behavior.

3. Attachment to people and objects related to our security cause to fear and play power games in order to protect our possessions, relationships or self-image when we suspect we are in danger of losing them.

4. Imagination can create images of doom and suffering far beyond any physical reality or likelihood. Imagination in itself is not negative. It is misused by the fear complex of: alienation, unfamiliarity, vulnerability, mistrust and attachment.

5. Emotionally charged memory of previous negative experiences, where we have either witnessed or suffered harm, loss or death provokes fear. Our subconscious mind stores memories of such unpleasant experiences from the past.

We also carry within us instinctual fear complexes resulting from our evolution through the animal kingdom. Thus, we project onto the present and future what we have experienced in the past, generating a distorted perception of reality.

Also our memory is not quantitative but qualitative. It does not assign the same power to each memory. For example, we may have driven a car 3000 times without any problem, and then have one accident and fear driving after that. Thus we are allowing one experience weight more than 3000.

In the same way, we might have had hundreds of loving contacts with a person and then let one negative one cause us not to talk to this person and perceive him or her as evil.

This illustrates that each thought has a certain energy field associated with it, which creates our emotional reactions when we come into contact with that thought. This is the basis of the newly discovered Energy Based Psychology systems of Thought Field Therapy (Dr. Roger Callahan) and Emotional Freedom Techniques (Gary Craig) which offer easy and quick freedom from fear and other negative emotions. We will discuss these in later sections of this series.

The Purpose of Fear

Fear has its purpose in the animal kingdom, where the animal’s low state of consciousness leaves little recourse but to fight or flee.

As humans with higher consciousness, however, we have alternative methods for dealing with potential dangers. Clearer examination of the many situations which we feared as dangerous will reveal that they simply were no so.

How many times have we been stricken with fear upon experiencing a sudden sound or sight, only to eventually realize we were completely wrong in our interpretation?

How many times have we worried intensely about a future event, imagining the worst, only to have everything work out fine? And even if we could not, at first, accept how things worked out, everything was dissolved and forgotten in the ceaselessly flowing river of time.

Very few of our fears are based on our present reality, but rather are founded on a remembered but nonexistent past or an imagined future.

Our fears seldom concern an immediate danger, such as a tiger attacking us or a bomb falling on our heads.

Even in the case that we are actually in danger at the present moment, fear will only cause us to become stiff in body and unclear in mind. We could deal with danger much more efficiently if we perceived and acted with clarity, self-confidence and courage.

Facing our Fears – Overcoming Fear – Part 4

As human beings in the process of evolution, it is imperative that we overcome the bondage of fear so we may experience the security, peace, love, courage, faith, wisdom, understanding and fulfillment which we desire, deserve and which is our destiny. Fear binds us to a lower level of consciousness with less love and happiness.

Actual Contact

One way to overcome a fear is to gradually approach that being, object or situation in gradual but increasing doses. We will, in this way, by experience, learn that in reality it is harmless to us. Fear of the sea could be gradually overcome by immersing our bodies, allowing the water to come up to our ankles, knees and so on over a period of time. Fear of heights can be eventually conquered through exposure to gradually increasing heights.

This technique can be used with the fear of any real object or situation. The important factor to remember is to make the right dosage of contact. We should start slowly and bring ourselves just to the threshold of fear, just where fear begins and where we can still observe and work with the fear through breathing and relaxation.

Later, the experience can be repeated, this time increasing contact with that which is feared, playing with our limits, and learning to relax while in contact. We can relax by breathing slowly and deeply while reminding ourselves of the truth that we are not actually in danger, but that our mind is being controlled by some false conditioning, probably from some past experience.

At the moment we begin to feel fear, we can begin to breathe more slowly and deeply, while concentrating on relaxing the body and mind. We will notice that certain muscles begin to tense up. We can relax these muscles with the help of the breath and mental messages of relaxation.

We may remember thoughts that help us to feel more secure or bring to mind any frame of reference that allows us to feel security and protection, such as God, or various spiritual or logical truths. We can remind ourselves that our imagination is being exploited by our unfounded fears and that the danger we feel is not real.

Mental Contact

Contact with the feared can also be made through the subconscious mind and the imagination. Through methods of relaxation, self-hypnosis, mind control, and positive projection techniques, we can imagine having contact with the feared.

When we imagine ourselves in contact with the feared object or situation, we might find that we experience the same types of emotional and physical reactions as we do when actually in contact. We can then visualize alternative ways of feeling and reacting to that previously feared situation.

If we have feared certain animals, insects, or even certain types of people, we can imagine ourselves as feeling safe, secure and peaceful while in contact with them. We can imagine ourselves feeling safe, self-confident and courageous.

Such reprogramming of the subconscious mind will eventually alter our reactive mechanisms to life. Those who are already experienced in such techniques can do such reprogramming sessions alone, but some will need guidance in getting started.

Those, who choose to, can even imagine accepting (not desiring, but accepting) death. We can eventually reprogram ourselves to believe in our indestructible soul nature, thus removing all fear at the root.

There are three approaches here.

a. Some prefer to project that nothing unpleasant will ever happen to them. This is useful and will, to a large extent, send out positive energies to our environment, creating a positive reality. Of course, we will all eventually die and all lose our loved ones at some point. No amount of projection will prevent this.

b. Others choose to imagine all in God’s light and leave the specifics of what will happen to some higher and wiser power, such as God.

The first technique is an active projection of what we want to happen and the second is a passive acceptance of whatever is best.

c. A third possibility would be to project what we prefer in each situation and then offer it to God, placing it in light and completing our “prayer” with the thought, “May the Highest Good for all occur in this situation.”

“Energy Meridian Based Psychology” = EMDR – TFT – EFT

These initials stand for the latest techniques for freeing ourselves from unwanted emotions. These will be explained in greater detail in future articles. Let is suffice to say that:

1. EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (Francine Shapiro) needs to be applied by an experienced EMDR practitioner who will enable us to come into contact with the traumatic event which is causing our fear, pain, guilt, self-rejection or other negative emotion. After doing so, the memory will be discharged and then reinterpreted as we introduce the logic or truth we chose into this previously traumatic memory, thus healing us of this problem.

2. TFT or Thought Field Therapy (Dr. Roger Callahan) deals with the specific energy field which is generated by each thought and allows us to heal this energy field, thus removing the cause of that specific emotion. Thus we focus on what we fear and then tap on specific acupuncture points in order redistribute that energy field and thus collapsing the energy disruption (identified with that thought) which was creating the emotion. This, too, often requires an experienced practitioner

3. EFT of Emotional Freedom Therapy (Gary Craig) is a simplified version of TFT, which we can employ on ourselves. We bring to mind whatever causes our negative emotion (such as fear or anxiety) and then tap on specific points in order to correct that disruption in the energy field, which creates the emotion. The thought creates the energy field and the energy field creates the emotion. If we correct the energy field the emotion disappears.

In my 35 years of counseling, I have found no techniques more effective than these. You can change your life through them.

Manage Your Stress With Ease

Studies from the 1950s, 60s and 70s predicted that with advances in technology we would have a lot more leisure time by the year 2000. How wrong they were! Today we are expected to produce a lot more, of a higher quality, as fast as possible and all with less support than we had 30 years ago. In this information age we spend more time living inside our heads than in our bodies; we move less and think more and it is taking a major toll on our health. The effects of pressure have become so prevalent in our lives that they have even been given it a name: stress.

Stress is an internal phenomenon. You might say, My office is stressful or My shopping mall gives me stress or You try having four kids and not being stressed! But while these are contributors to the stress process they do not create stress. There is no such thing as external stress. Stress is in your thoughts, feelings and beliefs and how you choose to behave in response to an external pressure. If you feel that a situation is more demanding than you are capable of handling, then you will experience stress.

The three major causes of stress

Acute Pressure

Acute Pressure is pressure that only lasts for a short period of time. As an example, imagine you are a cat strolling through the backyard, minding your own business, when suddenly a rabid dog jumps over the fence and charges straight toward you. Your body would react immediately by activating a series of neurological, biochemical, hormonal and physiological actions, all designed to help you avoid the dog and survive. This automatic response is commonly referred to as the fight or flight response. The stress response in the case of our cat runs its course very quickly, eg the dog bolts over the fence and charges at the cat (the external pressure), which causes the cats brain and hormonal system to release a series of stress hormones (the stress response), which in turn puts the cat in a physiological state to either fight the dog or run away (the fight or flight response). After escaping the dog, the cats stress hormones return to normal and it is soon strolling through the backyard again. This is an example of acute pressure causing stress. The short-term effects of acute stress include an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, breathing rate, body temperature and adrenaline output as well as feelings of anxiety, nervousness and tension.

Chronic Pressure

Unfortunately in todays world, we humans are not as fortunate as the cat. Every day we deal with situations that cause continuous stress. Alarm clocks, unexpected bills, mortgage repayments, traffic jams, work, family and partner commitments, all of which can be harder to escape than the rabid dog and unlike the rabid dog, they come back time and time again. This creates a situation where we are constantly stuck in the middle of the stress response, where our stress hormones are elevated for long periods of time. Although this is not immediately life-threatening (as is the acute pressure situation of the cat and the dog), over the long term it can lead to obesity, reduced sex drive, weakened immune system, loss of memory and poor feelings of well being. If we cannot remove or escape from acute stress, it soon becomes chronic stress.

Imagined Pressure

Our subconscious minds cannot distinguish between a real and an imagined event. Therefore, even though some of our fears may be anticipated or imagined, rather than actual, they still activate the bodys stress responses. If these fears are not dealt with they will soon become a source of chronic stress.

A large proportion of the stress we experience is caused by either a fear of failure or fear of success. Fear of failure can be traced back to a fear of loss in some form. Loss of control, reputation, money, livelihood and even life. Fear of success on the other hand can be traced to a fear of your own greatness, which may actually also lead back to a fear of loss. Loss of freedom, loss of privacy, loss of leisure time, loss of having a life.

FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real. It is thought that as much as 90 per cent of all fears never eventuate and that the other 10 per cent often dont turn out to be as bad as we expect. You need to be aware that fear is a negative thought and the more you focus on it, the more likely it will manifest itself in your life.

The best way to deal with your fears is to categorise them as things you can control and things you cannot control. It is pointless to worry about things that you cannot control. They are what they are and whatever will be will be. There is nothing you can do about them. Focus instead on the things you can control. Begin by putting them into perspective. Ask yourself, If this fear were to eventuate, how stressful would it be on a scale from 1-10?

Only 1-2 per cent of all fears are really worth worrying about. The others, which are more likely to really be inconveniences, should be confronted and dealt with before they create further dis-EASE in your life.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.Shakespeare

Outcomes of stress

The effects of stress can be either positive or negative, depending entirely on how you choose to view the external pressure.

Positive Outcomes of Stress include:

Increased physical, mental and emotional performance
Fun and enjoyment

The human body loves positive stress as it provides a stimulus for growth and improvement.

Im sure you know of people who just seem to be cruising through life, merely existing and not truly experiencing. These people do not have enough positive stress in their lives. Unfortunately, if we are not growing, we are dying, and these people are simply waiting to die. The key to living an amazing life is to fill it with positive stress so that you are continually growing and developing.

What is a source of positive stress for one person may be a source of negative stress for another. Your experience will depend on your stress threshold and the coping strategies you employ. To determine whether an event causes you positive or negative stress you need to be aware of its affect on your body.

Negative Outcomes of Stress include:

Heart disease
Illness and injury
Burnout and breakdown

Exposure to too much stress for too long will reduce the ability of your immune system and enhance your susceptibility to dis-EASE. The first sign of any dis-EASE in your life is a good indicator that you have surpassed your stress threshold. As with all forms of dis-EASE, before you can address your stress you must first confront the underlying issue(s) causing it. If these issues, thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviours are not dealt with they can end up ruling our lives and creating self-destructive patterns, which will eventually lead to burnout or even breakdown.

Identify your optimal level of stress

To achieve an optimal balance of stress in your life you should look to involve yourself in situations which are neither too relaxing nor too stressful, but somewhere in between. If something is too easy you will not become sufficiently stimulated to produce a quality performance or growth, and if it is too difficult you will become over-stimulated which will also affect your ability to produce a quality performance and lead to dis-EASE. Becoming an expert in your own stress management is simply a matter of putting yourself into situations that provide you with enough stimulation to perform at your peak.

Coping Strategies

By listening to your body you will be able to implement positive solutions to reduce the effects of stress in your life.

Positive Coping Strategies:

Planning ahead
Thinking positive and empowering thoughts
Eliminating toxins
Eating well
Resting, relaxing and rejuvenating

Negative Coping Strategies:

Too often people will deal with the effects of stress by using either stimulants to kick start the body or suppressants to slow it down. Unfortunately, most of these stimulants and suppressants are toxic. Continuously pumping your body with toxins is one of the fastest ways to inflict damage on yourself. Toxins can take the form of:


Recreational drugs


Prescription drugs
High fat or processed foods


Work addiction
Sex addiction
Exercise addiction
Food addiction (overeating/under eating)
Television addiction

The problem with these coping strategies is they do not address the root cause of the stress. They simply mask the symptoms and thus become detrimental to your health.

Are you suffering from stress?

Integrating Heart Centered Hypnotherapy

Heart Centered Hypnotherapy is a natural fit in complimenting many other healing modalities. In and of itself, it is a powerful method to release the energy that keeps us blocked in many self-defeating patterns in our lives. This includes relationships, work situations, family dynamics, money issues, negative thought patterns, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, fear, loneliness, addictions, and the list goes on and on. I say self-defeating because we end up attracting our unresolved issues over and over again until we release the energy from the source, or roots in childhood. Let me explain. When we are children we are in a different developmental state than we are as adults. Many times we look back at certain childhood events as being silly or of no consequence because as adults we are in a different developmental place. As a result we are not capable of feeling empathy for our own inner child because we just do not understand. A simple event in childhood can create trauma in the child’s eyes by eliciting fear, shame, guilt, and loneliness. Many other emotions spawn off from these but these are the four “biggy” dysfunctional emotions. Early events can get anchored in our neurotransmitters, which keep dumping the neuropeptides into our bodies that produce the same emotions and perceptions over and over again. In order to extinguish the dysfunctional emotions and change the results we need to release the energy and triggers from the original events in our childhoods so we can create a wider space where we can choose a healthier response and behavior. When we start doing this on a regular basis we start attracting different situations and people into our lives. The good news is that you are in total control during hypnotherapy and you will never do something you do not want to do or are not ready for. You are in control of your healing! I am just guiding and witnessing the process. This is where the other approaches to personal growth and change integrate nicely with Heart Centered Hypnotherapy. In order to truly change and heal our issues and negative patterns we need to approach our growth through mind, body, and spirit, or through our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves. One of the other methods I employ is soul retrieval work, usually done during hypnotherapy, which energetically brings back soul fragments we have lost along our life’s journey. I drum and take and guide patients on shamanic journeys to access their spirit guides and power animals so they can ask them questions and gain clarity on what direction to take to heal their problems. I also facilitate Heart Centered Breathwork which spontaneously regresses us back to childhood or to the birthing process to release old wounds and traumas that keep them stuck. I teach patients Holistic Integrative Breathing while I do a combination of energy work to release energy that no longer serves them. This helps restore balance and vitality to their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies. I use body-centered psychotherapy at times which concentrates on the wisdom of the cellular memories in the patient’s body. And finally I specialize in Quantum Leap Coaching which facilitates changes in one’s negative or limiting thought systems. There are many other techniques that compliment hypnotherapy well. Some of these for the physical body are massage, chiropractic, nutritional, herbal, and mindfulness meditation to name a few. Other methods for releasing emotional issues and unwanted belief systems are Psych K, the Sedona Method, Byron Katie’s work, and the Essential Experience Workshop. With the mental and thought systems there are many different types of coaching that address and transform one’s thoughts along with James Ray seminars, and empowerment trainings. And, there are many different options to broaden your spiritual horizon whether it is Buddhism, Hinduism, A Course in Miracles, The Way of Mastery, Yoga, Tai Chi, Taoism, or organized religion. The important thing is Heart Centered Hypnotherapy integrates well with all these approaches. I work with people in many different ways to address all pieces of the human species puzzle – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Finally if I’m not able to provide what a person needs, I do my best to find specifically what they need and refer them to the appropriate practitioner, group, or seminar. Once again, there are no quick fixes, but hypnotherapy is a great place to start and build upon. The foundation allows for organic integration and enhancement of other methods to provide truly holistic healing. I’ve come to the conclusion from my three-year hypnotherapy internship that it’s one of the most integrative, effective, insightful, intense, and heartfelt approaches in which I’ve ever been trained. Be courageous, self-loving, and change your self-defeating patterns. You deserve to give yourself the gift of Heart Centered Hypnotherapy.